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All posts for the month March, 2013

An Uncomfortable Truth…

Published March 31, 2013 by myagleny

Earlier today I was sharing some heart-felt honesty with a kindly neighbour, when mid-way through the conversation, this normally polite and charming older lady interrupts me with a raised hand and says… ‘For God’s sake get a grip and stop being so chicken hearted!’

Ouch!  I was nearly poleaxed. That really hurt! But then the truth often does.

When I got over being run through by this painfully sharp sword of honesty, I had to admit she had a point.  I spend way too much time talking about the reasons why I cannot make a living from my writing, and no time at all doing something about it.  I used to earn money from it, so there is no excuse why I cannot do it again.  At one time I had a weekly column in a newspaper for crying out loud!  I wrote about all kinds of things, but mostly about relationships and what makes people tick.  I love pondering on what causes one person go off like a firework, while another remains peaceful and unperturbed. It is the variety of thoughts and beliefs we hold that makes us all so diverse and interesting.

My neighbour, for instance, deals with life very differently from me.  She could not understand my apathy and doubt about ‘putting myself out there’.  In her world holding back simply doesn’t exist.  To her it is nothing short of insane to sit on your stump and wait for abundance to fall into your lap.  ‘Get a grip!’ she said, and even though I can bang on about ‘internalising my critical parent’ and ‘struggling to support my adapted inner child’ , when push comes to shove – she’s right.

My trouble is I over-think.  If I can complicate it, I will. Why find a hundred reasons for something not happening if you can find a hundred and one. They say thoughts become things, but I can do better – thoughts can also become no things. I’ve been thinking for years…   In my neighbour’s world, if you’ve run out of milk, get off your backside and find a cow.

Big sigh….

It’s not the writing that worries me – that bit I can do – so it must be the fear of being rejected…

Oh Boo Hoo!

Go and lay your golden egg Mya… You might break one or two, but in the end you’ll crack it.

Cluck, cluck, cluck… 🙂

Autistic and Awesome

Published March 30, 2013 by myagleny

My beautiful daughter is Autistic.  This means she has difficulty with many aspects of day to day life, and in particular communication.  Autistic people often find the way the rest of us live our lives to be nothing short of ridiculous.  We tell lies for instance.  We say one thing, but really mean another.  We cannot be trusted.  It is hard for the rest of us to imagine what it is like to see the world through the eyes of Autism.  We are so used to our subtle deceit, we accept it as normal.  We teach out children how to do it, and scold them if they speak their truth.  We give this subtle deceit many names, but mostly we call it politeness.

Imagine for a moment being parachuted into rural China.  Nobody speaks a language you can understand.  Nobody makes sense with what they say or do, the habits and culture is at odds with what we recognise.  The world is an alien one, but once finding ourselves there, the best of it has to be made or we will suffer.  And so it is for Autistic people in our society.

Autism covers a huge spectrum.  Some people are completely shut down, and others are high functioning and are capable of gaining University degrees.  My daughter is somewhere in the middle, and some days she is nearer one end than the other – you can never tell.

Today she has been amazing!  Today she jumped out of a plane at 15,000ft and skydived…  falling through the air at 120mph at a temperature of  minus 15c.  A pretty awesome achievement in anyone’s book!  She didn’t land in rural China fortunately, just nice and softly in a quiet field in East Devon.  The sun was shining, and although she was frozen right through, she was happy.

My daughter took this on to raise money for The National Autistic Society, but most of all she did it to show the world that being Autistic doesn’t mean you can’t do things.  Because she is different, and knows she is, it is important to her that people see her for the valuable person she is.  I am so proud of her – she is tougher, braver and kinder than anyone I know.

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Dreams and Flying

Published March 27, 2013 by myagleny

Yesterday I took the dogs and walked up to the top of the hill behind my house.  I can see for miles up there, and in days when life has got me down and I need to look at the bigger perspective, it’s a good place to start.

A very old byway runs along the spine of the hill.  It’s used by horsemen and walkers alike, and on Sunday afternoons lads on scrambling bikes carve up the ground and turn it into a muddy, noisy race track.

Yesterday it was peaceful with no distractions, and I quickly lost myself in my thoughts.  At the end of the track is a wood with sprawling holly bushes, sturdy oaks and tall, slim beech trees that sway in the westerlies. The wood is old.  The leaf mould on the ground is deep and luscious, and it smells just gorgeous.

Overhead some dark and raucous residents made their presence known. Rooks.  They were nest building, and their untidy jumbles of twigs lurched back and forth in the freshening winds.  Round and round they flew, circling the nest sites, cawing and calling to each other. I stood enchanted. Lost, for a few precious moments, in an hypnotic trance of something ancient as they turned and fell in the sky.  This way and that they twisted with such ease, riding the winds in this element to which I have few points of reference. I was very aware they knew I was on the ground – man, the predator, never to be trusted.  They were keeping a very sharp eye on me and my dogs.

Last night I had a dream.  I was flying, my arms outstretched and my body turning and twisting over green fields full of wild flowers.  I felt the wind lifting me, and with intention I found I could go higher, change direction, swoop low.  I was human, still me, but free of the ties that keep us grounded. I was up there, with the birds.

To be able to fly, even in a dream, is to share something with all creatures of the air.  In dream-time we get to understand that truly, there can be no separation between any of us – we breathe the same air and drink the same water.  However different we think we are, in reality we share our life experience on Planet Earth with all beings.   Image

Another newbie hits the website…!

Published March 25, 2013 by myagleny

I’m new… so very new… and as always when I stick my toe in the water for the first time, it seems a little chilly.  It will take me a day or two, but I will get my head around WordPress – after all, I am a writer! 🙂

I have a website http://www.myaglenywordsandpictures.com, and on on there you will find many photographs of the things I love.  There are many many blogs too, some of which I would like to share on this site.

Making connections is what it’s all about, and that is my intention on here.  If you should find me before I find you, please say ‘hello’, I would love to meet you!  I’m on facebook too… Mya Gleny (stormmoonmya).

Now then…  what happens if I click on this…Image